Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
