I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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