Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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