her vagina looked like bernie madoff
please come you make the beer taste better
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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