Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
