North Korea, Best Korea!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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