You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
