i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
