I only kidnapped one of them. chill
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
