The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
