I think I am morally bankrupt
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
