I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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