Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
