she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
