Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Someone shit on the floor
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
