I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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