i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
sex in a hospital.. check
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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