No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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