I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
