he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
