One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
