She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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