You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
