Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
