I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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