i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
