I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
