well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
