I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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