Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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