Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
