Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
