Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
