I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
