Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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