i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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