So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
