oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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