he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
