I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
