Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
