I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
