Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
