did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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