Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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