peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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