people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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