Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
