It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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