You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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